Goal setting with real value
It’s the start of the year and you may have set some new goals - you may be already failing to achieve them. The good news is that you don’t need to feel down on yourself for not achieving the goals you’ve set out. Setting goals for yourself is tricky business, especially if you don’t have consequences for not achieving them.
The thing is, there are consequences for not achieving your own goals and you may just not hold them to such a high value as you do for others. When it comes to goal setting, or anything really, it’s so important to value yourself the same as you would want to be valued by others. They say: “Treat others the way you would want to be treated”, which is true and a great way of teaching empathy - however, for many of us it’s so easy to place importance on others’ opinions and values over our own, that our life and decisions end up to the benefit of other people rather than ourselves. Healthy self-talk instead could sound more like: “Treat myself the way I would treat others”.
If we set goals and deadlines with the same respect for ourselves as we would for our boss, imagine how much more we could achieve and improve ourselves. We may work an eight-hour day at a job but when was the last time you spent eight hours on yourself?
It all comes down to what we really value; for some it may be a good work ethic, for others it may be our family and relationships, or maybe both. The point is; you are not treating yourself right if you’re not living according to your values. Further, your goals should reflect your values, and if you’re not achieving your goals then you’re disregarding yourself and your values. On the other hand, you may have set goals that aren’t aligned with your true values and are rather directed toward superficial things that you want but don’t actually need.
So if you’ve set some New Year resolutions or goals to achieve this year, I would suggest taking a second look and checking that they actually reflect your true values. You can test by asking questions like:
- Will this goal improve the quality of my life in the long term?
- What has this goal got to do with my legacy? (What I’ll leave behind after I’m gone.)
- What unconditional value of mine does this goal reflect?
- What are the consequences and how would they affect me if I didn’t achieve this goal?
In the end, goal setting is the easy part of the process and implementing is always the hard part. Although, it can be easier if your goals are aligned with what’s truly important to you because that’s the whole reason you’re here anyway, right? When it comes to the difficult implementing part, just remember to ask: Do you respect yourself at the same level you respect others? What is the real reason you need to achieve this?
Finally, go get it because you have something special to contribute to the world and the only way to get there is one goal at a time.
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